How did we get here?

I woke up this morning to an email from our facilitator with a "New Birth Mom Situation." Quite the wake up call. We are only a week out from mailing in our massive packet of documents to begin our home study. The thought of actually being matched right now is simply overwhelming, and at the same time exhilarating.

Turns out this particular situation isn't right for us, but it's kind of sent me spinning. How the hell did we get here?

I met my hubby when I was 35 and I knew there was a chance that having children could get a little tricky because of my age. Our maturity helped our relationship progress rather quickly, which allowed us to start trying for a family when I was still 37. But 37 quickly turned to 38 and then 39. The numbers were not on my side, and they were getting worse. Add to that my other underlying health issues, and this year it became very clear that having our biological child was just not meant to be.

Coming to that realization was tough - really tough. I mean, don't we all just assume that when we're ready to have kids it'll just happen? Not being able to easily get pregnant caused serious feelings of inadequacy. Every other woman in my family got pregnant when they wanted to - why not me? I won't lie, it got ugly at times. I'm a crier to begin with, but throw in fertility drugs and you've got a full-blown basket case on your hands! Luckily, my amazing husband rode the waves with me and was there to lift me up any time I was down. I never would have gotten through all of it without him.

I'm realizing now, that this was all just part of our plan. I truly believe that I am meant to be a mom and our child is out there somewhere.

In the beginning

In the beginning, it was just us. A boy and a girl who managed to find love online. An amazing courtship followed and soon we were engaged and then married. A truly wonderful life. 

Like many couples, we assumed children would happen when we were ready. But mother nature had other plans. The Mrs.' body just wasn't prepared to make and carry a little human. But oh, how we tried. Two years, many medical interventions and countless tears later we left fertility treatments behind and embarked on a new adventure - adoption.
We've only just begun this journey, but I already know in my heart this is absolutely the right path to make us three.